On Monday Mornings

Monday morning conversation
Senior management calls me (not my boss) to get some work done. Such relationships are called dotted-line reporting.
“Good morning, it’s me!”

Wonderful, should I inform my folks so that we can participate in a gypsy dance around a fire?

“Good morning.”

Liar, Liar! You are about to be seduced in doing work, because
a) You’re about to be outranked
b) You’re worthlessness is confirmed by way of your salary, which could afford your folks to do the gypsy-dance around the fire
c) It’s Monday morning, you’re in office, and it’s a time-honoured tradition to work on Monday Mornings, unlike other traditions, like folks hand-in-hand dancing around a fire. Who invented this calendar anyways?

“Can I talk to you?”

Not particularly, because you are paid a humongous salary to stay out of harms way, which was confirmed after a psychometric test which confirmed that you couldn’t ape a monkey, but yet you’re in control

“Of course, how can I help you?”

Liar, Liar! You are about to be seduced in doing work, because….oh, to hell with that one!
“See, I need a presentation…”
choose a better wardrobe
“….that would show that we’ve made money in the eastern region”

fire the western region, claim cost reduction on account of the decision made by the eastern region, reorganize into north-eastern textile and eastern tanning regions to wipe out trends arising out of historical data that would prove the eastern region was a bigger disaster than the movie “Titanic”, and stay out of harm’s way

“No problem! Should I display productivity analysis or capacity utilization?”
Which essentially are two sides of the same coin, but only the monkey has passed the psychometric test to answer that one, remember? But the monkey doesn’t have time; he’s on National Geographic, while I’m in office.

“Show both”
Wonderful
“But…uh…..aren’t they both essentially the same?”
“You tell me!”
“Uh..I think so!”
“But what if you end up getting criticized of inadequate analysis!”
“But, who’ll sign-off on the presentation?”
“I will…how much time will it take?”
“Hmmm…about 5 hours”
“Great…it’s 9:00 AM now….send it before 2:00”
“Could I take a little more time…I’m into something right now”
“What?”
Your wife
“The latest analysis on our achievements for the previous month, and comparing the same against the previous quarter, same time last year and ytd”
Your wife
“See…if you can’t deliver, just say so, and I’ll inform accordingly”
Why bother? I’ll inform, and we both can get sacked, and cost reductions will take place, and the decision would be the eastern regions, and they’d make more money
“No, no…..what I mean is…”
“2:00 then!”
“Definitely!”

You see, salaries are about budgeting, cost-benefit analysis, deciding on effective planning and control measures on the shop-floor, presentations, and discussing the rising operational costs and negative cash flows arising from higher wages, sub-contracting, and deciding on how much of the shop-floor wages to disappear, and how many to hire to decide on how much to fire.