Things that make you go hmmphh!

1. Returning to a hobby after over ten years; when it was re-discovered after a period of fifteen years.

Chapter looking for an ending....

Mumbai - Delhi - Chennai - Padappai - Tirupati - Padappai - Pondicherry - Mahabalipuram - Chennai - Kochi - Thekkady - Kumarakom - Alleppey - Kochi - Mumbai

.... has drawn to a conclusion. Another one begins.

When I'm Fifty Seven

While I studiously avoid television (and reality shows altogether), I couldn't help but be hooked on to the 'SuperGroup' series on VH1. The show put together five larger-than-life rock personalities who initially seemed as if they needed to be held together by band-aid. Their end goal was to perform in a live concert in Las Vegas. Watching their excellent performance on stage in the final show just underscored what is lacking in today's rock-and-roll world : a rock-and-roll artist.

We have social activists, gay rights activists, anti-religion activists and political activists, but they are activists first and musicians (a distant) last. What ever became of old fashioned music? When music was just music, and rock and roll was rock and roll - not an instrument of change, or rebellion, or a political revolution, but music first and music last.

But this group just screamed, shouted, abused, leered and spun out music into proving that 'it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing'. Phew! The way Jason Bonham and Ted Nugent weaved out their cover version of 'Out on the Tiles' was simply stunning. On that note, if I live to be fifty-seven, hope I can kick butt like Ted Nugent.

Happy Deepavali

Wishing you a Happy Deepavali and a prosperous New Year

Unoriginal sin

A night out in the best pub in town
After a long time, I end up three rums down.
Swinging to CCR, what do I see?
A wannabe, bags under her eyes made of Gucci.
"Haven't we met?" she asked, amidst the din
She flashed her painted nails, eyes full of sin.
"I'm now a writer",she said,"I travel through my words."
"I did three men last year, ain't that absurd?"
I knock back a Molotov, stifle a yawn,
My fears growing, this prattle could continue till dawn.
"Where are you now?" she asked, manufacturing small talk
"Anywhere but here," I muttered, her eyes continued to mock.
Just then the doors swung open, in walked a new Charlie
Never seen him before, twirling his new car keys.
Her eyes light up, I hear the cash register clang
He's got the buck, she's giving the bang.
"Hey baby!" he growled,"Like my outfit? It's Hugo Boss."
"Oh, ya!"she squealed,"You're my high..I'm your Kate Moss."
I was changing loyalties, from cocktails to whisky
She was checking his wallet, to see if he could pay her fees
Soon the ritual would begin, a game called musical bed
I got out soon, buzzed and eye-lids heavy as lead.
Tomorrow I'll be at the shrink's clinic, complaining I'm stressed,
Her kind will also be at his clinic, perpetually undressed.
Apologies if I've insulted you,
Perhaps a view of our situations is due.
For I'm as bitter as the alcohol I had last night
She's a world famous writer, with the next Charlie in sight.

The meek shall inherit my tax liability

The dollar will crash; the end of the world is nigh
Oil will hit $100; economies will cry
Oil will hit $40; solar panel makers will sigh.

Murder, war, rape, arson, loot
Humanity has lost it, give us all a boot.

Vulture capitalists are lurking overhead
Eyeing my undervalued assets, I'll soon be dead.

Pretty ammas in a sexy sarong
Will seduce politicians who sell us for a song.

Roads have crumbled, cars have crashed into potholes
The taxpayer wants more, give him all your dole.

Short the currency, put all your money in gold,
Volatility is a bad word, not the time to be bold.

Sell your house, the lenders have bared their teeth
Interest rates move higher, no place for the meek.

But yet I invest blindly, like an addict who needs his dose
Because I bet on our ability to adapt to crises
And not lie comatose

Economists?!
If you lay them across the globe, one by one
That wouldn't be such a bad thing, now would it?
There! I'm done.

Markets and autorickshaws, or why I walk a lot!

Walking on a wet road covered with muck, and observing all autorickshaw drivers refusing pedestrians with disdain, I wondered what makes them tick. One day, between seething in anger and puzzling over some complex issues at work, I realized that the autorickshaw driver's propensity to take me from the station to home is driven by his expectations on the following:
a) Condition of the roads or rc
b) Condition of the autorickshaw or ac
c) Rickshaw meter reading or rr
d) Traffic conditions or tc
e) Population density or pd
f) Number of other rickshaws plying at that point of time or nr

Now, the rickshaw fare is driven by the meter, which is driven, most likely, by the motor rpm and time since it was engaged. It must therefore be correlated to the condition of the road and the traffic conditions.
The road condition is dependent on traffic conditions over a large period of time.
The autorickshaw condition is dependent on the usage of the rickshaw, which is reflected in the rickshaw meter reading, and the condition of the road.
Number of other rickshaws plying at that point of time is dependent on the popululation density in the neighbouring areas, and not so much vice-versa.

Now, under ideal situations, the condition of the road is perfect, the rickshaw runs on a four-stroke engine, rickshaw meter reading is electronically driven and there is no traffic. Let us assume the fare to be 'Base fare'.
Then, the actual fare is a factor of 'base fare' (or bf) and the variations of the conditions from the ideal situation.

The rickshaw driver will think to himself,"How much more than the base fare will I need to make at the minimum? That depends on how much do I make in a day, (or R). So, I will need to make some amount more than (R - bf)."

Now, let us assume that how much more (or less) the rickshaw driver expects to make is:
a) A linear function of the base fare and average fare, and takes the form of y = mx + c
b) Changes in the values of rc, ac, rr and tc are normally distributed around their average values

Then, let me construct a hypothetical variables called Alpha and Beta which are defined as
Alpha = var(pd)*var(nr)/covar(population density, number of other rickshaws)
Beta = var(rc)*var(ac)*var(rr)*var(tc)/covar(rc,ac,rr,tc)
Let us combine the two variables with Gamma = Alpha * Beta
Then, the minimum expected fare must be bf + Gamma*(R-bf)

All who have looked at coroporate finance will know that this is a shameless rip-off of Harry Markowitz' hypothesis of 'Capital Asset Pricing MOdel'. (Well, I am shameless and I do tend to rip-off). But coming back to my autorickshaw driver, he should in a glance think of making at least bf + Gamma*(R-bf).

If road conditions worsen, then the meter reading will have to increase for him to breakeven, since he also has to spend on maintaining the rickshaw condition. In other words, they move in opposite directions and hence, Gamma must be negative. The only way he can be compensated is plying longer distances to increase base fare, for a constant daily income R.

Since I stay close by, and the roads are bad, he figures, in a moment after spitting out paan, that it's not worth the effort, and he continues to stare at the road ahead. The only other question he has to figure out is whether to compete for the high-margin, long distance traveller or not ply at all. I marvel at his quick-witted intelligence, give him a tongue-lashing, and move on. But at least I know that he made the right decision.

As my unnecessarily elaborate theory explains
a) Repair the road and the autorickshaw driver will be motivated to take passengers to their destination
b) Regulate the rickshaw routes by making them pay differential prices for different routes, like a telecom spectrum auction
c) Enforce every autorickshaw driver to take a passenger, regardless of where the passenger wants to go
d) If all theory fails, take a commission from the rickshaw drivers and let chaos prevail.
e) If my theory does not explain reality, then the solution is to complicate it further by assuming that expected payoff is not a linear combination of multiple factors, and the multiple factors are not normally distributed but follow a power law. In mathematical terms, that's confessing,"What, me worry?"

Statistically speaking, this city lacks traffic sense; I trudge on through the slush.

Momentary lapse of insanity

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed

You know, you run around, look under the rocks,
Check the streams to see if it drowned somewhere
See if you left it buried under the rocks
Or if people at the marketplace stampeded on it

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

You dip a teabag into a cup of coffee
Forget which floor your office is on
And one day you look up
You see sunshine in a smile and tell yourself
Nice to get my groove back

Night Flight

I first heard this song nearly twelve years back, as a wet-behind-the-ears kid about to enter his engineering course. Since then, my ears no drier than before, this song hasn't lost its luminescence.
________________________________________

I received a message from my brother across the water
He sat laughin' as he wrote the end's in sight
So I said goodbye to all my friends
And packed my hopes inside a matchbox
'Cause I know it's time to fly

Come on, meet me in the morning,
Meet me in the middle of the night
The morning light is comin'
Don't it make you wanna go and feel alright

I just jumped a train that never stops,
So now somehow I'll know I never finished payin' for my ride
Just n' someone pushed a gun into my hand
Tell me I'm the type of man to fight the fight that I'll require

Come on, meet me in the morning
Meet me in the middle of the night
The morning light is comin'
Don't it make you wanna go and feel alright

Oh, mama, well I think it's time I'm leavin'
Nothin' here to make me stay
Whoa, mama, well it must be time I'm goin'
They're knockin' down them doors
They're tryin' to take me away

Please Mr. Brakeman, won't you ring your bell.
And ring loud and clear
Please Mr. Fireman, won't you ring your bell
Tell the people they got to fly away from here

I once saw a picture of a lady with a baby
Southern lady, had a very, very special smile
We are in the middle of a change in destination
When the train stops, all together we will smile

Oh, meet me in the morning.
Won't you meet me in the middle of the night, night, night
Everybody know the mornin' time is comin'
Don't it make you wanna feel alright. Ah, ah, yeah
Make me feel alright.
Fly now, baby
Get to fly, yeah.
Fly now, baby