Mother

Today, on her 56th birthday, I realize that my mother is a Rock Star. Here are several reasons why:

...... Yesterday, she had a long conversation with me about the potential returns on investment in HSBC Mutual Fund, Reliance Mutual Funds' Equity Linked Savings Scheme etc. She wondered what drove one bank to deliver higher interest payments on their Recurring Deposit schemes. She also asked me on my views on her portfolio asset allocation. For someone who invests money for one form of living, I was found embarrassingly short of simple answers.

...... She has two degrees to her name: BSc and MA (Eng Lit). Very shortly, the third - MPhil shall be added. I have only one, unless MBA counts as a second educational qualification.
Very often, I've told her that Percy Bysshe Shelley was a morose old stick-in-the-mud. She countered by saying that I'm a philistine. I think both of us are correct.

...... Despite her training in non-mathematical subjects, she has special interests in quantum physics and has read the works of several physicists. Very often, she has asked me for clarifications on theories, concepts, equations etc. My standard response is, "Oh, that's very complex. Am not sure how to explain that simply."

...... By the time I am aware that morning has arrived and the sun is shining and I'm running half-hour late, the Crossword and Sudoku puzzles are already solved. That leaves me to solve the silly anagrams in Bombay Times.

...... It's difficult for me to gain weight when on a steady diet of home-cooked food. It's difficult for me to lose weight otherwise. It's difficult for me to think of better food.

...... Contractors, electricians, plumbers, carpenters, builders etc. have tried to throw their weight around when only my mom was at home. May their souls rest in peace.

...... I once argued that being married (or in a relationship) is an ability and not all of us have it. Hence, as families and societies become more accommodating, the divorce rate will climb and then disappear as several people will choose to stay single and unattached. She agreed.

...... Women have come and gone in my life like several episodes of a soap opera. But my healthy respect for womankind remains undiminished, not least because of my mom's influence. (My regards for my tastes in women, however, has deteriorated!)

...... Like many of her generation, she has had formal training in classical singing and dancing. Thank God I was born into this family - if not for them, I may not have developed a devotional love for music.

...... I have suffered from gastroenteritis, measles (twice), chicken-pox, malaria, jaundice etc. and lived to tell the tale. Guess why?

...... She cribbed that the slip-catching of the England cricket team is abominable, else Australia would have suffered even more heavily in the fourth Ashes Test match.

...... Beauty lies that in spite of all her efforts, the rest of us at home delude ourselves into thinking we wear the pants around the house. You know what the funny part is? That's just the way she prefers it.

Aah! Mothers - aren't they the most evolved amongst us?

Ceci n'est pas une blog

Many stories, fictional or otherwise, have influenced our thinking profoundly. One such story that brushed the cobwebs off my mental gears and saved me from ruin over a year back goes something like this:

This city slicker had had decided that the hustle and bustle of daily life was a bit too much. There was little by way of joys, and he saw a vacuum in every sphere of his life - work, relationships, dirty weekends etc. Essentially, the works.

Realizing that he was hurtling towards a spiritual disaster, he decided that enough was enough, and he must seek the intervention of a Master. He jumped into his car and sped away to the mountains, where the reclusive Master lived.

When dawn broke, the city slicker reached the temple. He leapt out of his vehicle and rushed to where the Master was meditating.

"Master, I've had it. My life has brought me materialistic pleasures, and yet I feel empty. Please guide me to the path to salvation."

The Master opened his eyes, briefly scanned this city-slicker and with a calm, steady voice said, "Very well. But you must first get rid of those clothes and put on this gown. Here is a mat which you must lay out on the stone path in front of you. While kneeling on the mat, you must meditate on your Higher Self to commence on the path to salvation."

"Of course", said the city-slicker, and hastily proceeded to do as instructed.

A month passed, and the city-slicker was worse off than whence he began. His back hurt, his knees hurt and everytime he began meditating, his mind would wander off and engage in angry thoughts. He ran back to the Master.

"Master, this is not working. I ache all over and I'm unable to focus".

On hearing this, the Master briefly opened his eyes, smiled and said,"Don't worry, Son. That too shall pass."

On hearing these encouraging words, the city-slicker once more assumed his meditative pose and proceeded as before.

As months passed, he noticed a gentler, positive wave of energy pass through him. He noticed himself becoming calmer and participating with the Universe. Encouraged by his progress, he ran back to the Master.

"Master, what you said is true. I feel alive and at peace with myself."

On hearing this, the Master briefly opened his eyes, smiled and said,"Don't worry, Son. That too shall pass."

THE END

....Ain't got no Time for Time

Today, I wonder what the Universe would be like if it was denied the luxury of one of two everyday grocery items - Space and Time. Let us assume that Time is denied, and only Space exists.

Therefore, we have vastness, but no concept of Time. As the concept of 'motion' is characterised by movement i.e. velocity, which in turn is dependent on Time, therefore no 'motion' as we know it must exist. However, space continues to exist. Hence, I don't need to get from one place to another because I exist simultaneously at both ends of the Universe. Alternately, various instances of 'me' exist simulatenously at different points in space with equal probability. Actually, the word 'simultaneous' would not exist in such a Universe because that would be the natural state of 'being'.

The way I figure it, I would exist either only at Bandra or only at Churchgate if Time constrained me from not being 'simultaneous'. However, 'Time' has gone for a walk; the last occasion it occupied this Universe, it did not have a very pleasant experience, and therefore eyes this opportunity with some suspicion.

Therefore, I exist all over the place (or equi-probably all over the place). Great occasion to be a voyeur.

Now, let's say that Time has suddenly jumped back into the fray and we have a 'Space-Time' fabric.

Now, what becomes of me? As Time is re-introduced, the probability function of my 'being all over the place' becomes zero, and therefore I should exist as only one instance. That would be the conventional view. However, there is a way of ensuring that the various instances remain. (Funnily put, there is a way to ensure that the probability of the probability function remaining or reducing to zero is the same).

To resolve this situation would be to separate each instance of 'me' by a sufficient gap of 'Time'. To ensure a relatively uniform metric of distance, I could use Light as it is impacted only by 'Black' holes. This results in the separation of each instance by a large number of 'Light-years'. But Time spent in crossing such a large number of 'Light-years' might require one Life-Time each! (Of course, as memory has been trained to be chronologically sequenced, the 'future' instances do not exist).

Thus, all instances are existing simultaneously, and all instances are chronologically unique.

Each of the instances must also therefore be evolving with Time and simultaneously, independent of Time.

??????

...."All of me, why not take all of me
Can't you see, I'm no good without you" ....

Happy Independence Day

The mirror indicates, with a stoic silence, that silver hairs have arrived for an indefinite stay. The pioneering hairs have looked around, and seeing that the land is fertile, will shortly return with their native tribe. Time moves on.

On Independence Day, I reconcile myself to the fact that time moves on, and people and nations must.

Do we ask why the Sun fondles the seas with her rays of light; and the surface where they kiss, the dolphins break.

Why cannot this go on forever? Because it cannot; the storms shall return, and so shall dawn.

Why does this happen? Because it happens

Do we ask why the wind makes love to the tree, with the leaves murmuring sighs of ecstasy? Why cannot this go on forever?

Because it cannot; the tree shall decay, and a sapling somewhere is reaching for the sky.

Why does this happen? Because it happens

Do we ask why Over-population, Debt, Poverty, Famines, Ignorance, Dying Children and Women's Rights abuses exist?

Why does this go on forever? Because it........

Why are we here? Because we're here

Happy Independence Day
I, Indian, and damn proud of it

Godel muses

As I observed my now three month-old niece observing me, I wondered at what point of time she would decide, "These values suit me. These other ones will not serve me any purpose. Those ones are to be treated like yesterday's diapers."

Then, while reading through the initial portions of "Godel, Escher, Bach: Eternal Golden Braid", a thought struck me,"Are we the values we choose?"

"Let's make a logical puzzle out of this", said the devil, perched on my shoulder.
"Sigh", I replied,"Here we go again!"

Assume that we are all born empty, or rather value-less. We possess no bias or inclinations to any thought structures, values etc. save those that lead us to feel contented and, in a vague sense, "happy".

Let us consider bubbles floating in ether, continuously bombarded by tiny comets zinging around. At some point of time, these tiny comets osmose into these bubbles, occupy the vacuum inside and make it their home for an indefinite interval of time.

Now we have a situation: empty bubbles and full bubbles, and osmosis, which led to this precarious situation.

Let's look at the two types of bubbles.

Hypothesis: The bubble is same as its content
Induced Logical Statement 1: The empty bubble is same as "emptiness".
Induced Logical Statement 2: The full bubble is same as it's content.

There are two possible responses to the hypothesis: Most likely Correct and Most likely Incorrect (personally, I don't believe in absolutes)

Most likely correct:
If the hypothesis is correct, then let us create a super-bubble that is filled with all the full bubbles. Hence, by additive properties, the super-bubble is same as all the bubbles, right?

Thus, Super Bubble = Full Bubble-1 + Full Bubble-2 + .... Full Bubble-n

Would you agree?

Most likely incorrect:
If the hypothesis is incorrect, then the bubble is not the same as it's content, but is closer to the process of osmosis. So the super-bubble is nothing but the additive processes of osmosis, and not the osmosed content.

Would you agree?

If the first approach is correct, then essentially by transitive properties:
Bubble = Content
Therefore:
Content = Bubbles

Similarly
Super-Bubble = Bubble = Content

But this cannot be, because all these entities exist independent of each other

If the second approach is correct, then essentially:
Bubble <> Content
Therefore
Content <> Bubbles
But, Bubbles "is most likely" Osmosis
Therefore
Osmosis "is most likely" Bubbles

This makes more sense i.e. logically consistent, as the process of osmosis cannot exist unless there is a surface which will osmose content.

Therefore, all bubbles are equal.

Substituting bubbles for people and content for values, essentially:
Saint = Sinner
It just so happens they chose different values.

The devil perched on my shoulder went "uh-oh".
I smiled at the devil.

"Both the angel and the devil are logically consistent, and hence duality should not exist", I said.
"Oh Dear", said the Devil," I hadn't thought of that" and - poof - vanished in an instant.

Ho-hum, my niece yawned. What a boring "chacha"! What to do, I am like this only.

From the door comes Satan's daughter

Hmm ... this apple is wonderful
Tell me, have you ever been locked in a coffin?
No?
Loser :-)
- crunch - ... umm-mmm-hmmmm
If you're ever locked in one
Start banging against the lid
Watch your veins strain against the flesh
Waiting to burst
Apple juice is heaven .... my trip to kashmir twenty years back awakens such memories
Your breath trickles out
Your eyes slowly fail to relay anything
Because there is nothing
Slip into oblivion
There is a still-life even when you're unable to breathe
You can't feel the worms nestling against your leg, about to commence on a feeding frenzy
Wow! I think I'll help myself to another apple
Are you dead yet?
No?
Now, incinerate your memories
Repeat after Descartes, "I think, therefore I am"
Is the converse also true, "What I don't think, I'm not"?
Join me for another apple
There is a basket lying around somewhere
Where the eff was it?
Hey, ma'am, yoo-hoo, can I get another apple .... pretty lady, prettier derriere, he-he, don't tell her that
Ummm ..... You gonna lie around all day?
Ha-ha .... you remind me of a "Crosby, Stills Nash & Young" song they played in Woodstock '69
"Mother Earth will swallow you, So you'd better lay your body down"