Monday, May 30, 2005

Ode to Shakespeare

If Shakespeare had a bust
I'm sure it'd be gathering dust

(I eat bhindi and corn
My aplogies, I'm not to the manor born)

Wonder why he wrote about Ophelia and Calpurnia
When I hear he was drunk, gay and suffered from hernia

Wonder how he did cope
When with another man, he could not elope

I trust he saw in the Merchant of Venice
A really large ......umm...... need for cleanliness

Before I continue on his many a quirk
I must leave, or my boss will sack me from work

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Insomnia

All of last night, I chased a dark angel
And yet she eluded me, I don't know why
When she finally grew weary of the game
She disappeared in the mists in my brain
Only to let the hot sphere rise....
Is this the rambling of a sleepy child
Or the spent energy of a youth gone wild?

Saturday night tangents

Strange time to remember a line by James Wood in the movie "The General's Daughter"...

"What crime is worse than rape? Betrayal. "

On another tangent, am humming to the tune of my current favourite song -"Higher"- from my current favourite band - Creed

".........When dreaming I'm guided through another world
Time and time again
At sunrise I fight to stay asleep
'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place
'Cause there's a hangar, a longing to escape
From the life I live when I'm awake........."

Speaking of Creed, am finding it strange that I have grown beyond my time warp of the fifties through to the seventies (Rat Pack to the Zepps).

The last time I really liked a band was "Extreme", and they didn't last long enough to provide sustenance to hungry ears.

"My own Prison"

"...
I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally

Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
..."

Talk about a remix!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

old paintings, fresh memories

Railroad

Daily train journey to work reminds me of a poem by Henry David Thoreau:

What's the railroad to me?
I never go to see
Where it ends.
It fills a few hollows,
And makes banks for the swallows,
It sets the sand a-blowing,
And the blackberries a-growing.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

London Bridge is falling down!

I don't think the "firm" as we know it today is going to last much longer. It hasn't been around that long, and I don't think it will go much further. It is on it's last legs. Employees are moving further and further away from customers, and back-office is considered paradise for the geeks.

The best form of organization is the village.

A village doesn't have employees, it has blacksmiths, and carpenters and painters and tailors and hoteliers and dancers and policemen. You know, people with talents and names and careers...not merely employee numbers

A village
...... doesn't issue Employee Stock Options
...... always serves its economic good
...... can expand and grow into a city
...... can contract into a has-been, drive-through hamlet
...... always shares profits with the villagers
...... will always reap what it has sown in real-time

I don't think the large, networked organization is going to collapse in a gory, violent fashion. Simply put, it will be out-run and eventually displaced in a non-violent, elegant fashion.

Sure, size does matter. Tell that to T Rex.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Politics of Selfishness

The world is truly a better place and it is getting better; thank God for selfish people. If it weren’t for selfish people, we would have been a gigantic communist state.

Over time, selfishness has acquired a negative connotation; and images of a money-lender extracting his pound of flesh while a widow weeps is often associated with an extreme form of selfishness. But, somehow, I’m unconvinced.

If it weren’t for selfishness, we wouldn’t have an incentive to do better. Lots of children are advised against venturing into Art; there have been too many financial failures in “that sort” of profession. But then, same is the case in charity organizations and “Non-Governmental Organizations”. And, you are assured a complete lack of financial success / transparency in “that sort” of profession.

Reminds me of a very interesting discussion I had with a young lady once:
“What do you like to do in your free time?”
"I spend time in my charity organization”
I raised an eyebrow: “That sounds interesting; what is it you do there?”
“Helping kids.”
“Why do they need helping?”
“Because their parents don’t have time to take care of them”
“So what happens when they don’t get taken care of?”
“They fall ill…and then their parents are uneducated…so they don’t know what has happened. So they take their sick children to the hospital and spend all their savings on expensive medicine. We now ensure that the kids are taken to the physiotherapy ward where spending on medicine can be avoided altogether”
“Then what happens?”
“The kids are sent back home”
“But that was what sent them to the hospital in the first place”
"So what do you suggest?”
“Nothing, at this stage. But it seems futile to solve this problem with physiotherapy. Why don’t their parents take care of them?”

Clearly, the young lady was totally exasperated by my line of questioning. Rather than expressing an interest in her devotion to sick children, I was more curious in their ungodly parents; what sort of childhood did I have, anways?

“Their parents work all day long”
“Does it help?”
“Not really, because they are illiterate and hence don’t have jobs that pay much”
“So, can’t sick children eventually get cured by adult literacy programs?”
“Huh? We’ve tried that; doesn’t work”
“But if the parents earned a lot, then kids could be healthier, right?”
“Right, except the parents aren’t particularly educated or skilful.”
“So why not teach them something that could help them make more money. Like work in the hospital that charges those steep fees?”
“It would take time, and the results aren’t assured.”
“So why not take a one-time grant to guarantee the education of these sick kids?”
“Because of a technical hitch in our bureaucracy: if the number of kids are less than fifteen, then you don’t get much of a grant.”
“Then, it appears as if rearing kids is futile, if there is no future for them, right?”
"Maybe”
“If we can’t cure the problem, why not teach population control techniques then?”
“As I said, these adults are quite illiterate and poor”
“So we keep on surviving on grants?”
"Yes, what option do we have?”

"Sorry to sound stupid: what is it that your organization is trying to achieve?”
"Our aim is to make a difference to society”

Honest to God, I haven’t made a single line up in all this.
Honest to God, I am not trying to belittle the organization's efforts; I sincerely wish more power to people like them.

I do have an issue with what I consider to be mis-placed sentiments behind these efforts. Now, I’m quite sure that a lot can be achieved and is being achieved in the sphere of social organizations, but I have this disconnect: how can one be totally selfless and feel like a martyr when one is occasionally submerged in either a hopeless cause or a hopeless effort?

Why not use profitable means to lift the poorer sections? I would think that they are poor is because they have never earned a profit.

And, to touch the most controversial subject, what exactly is wrong with child labour? I'm aware that child slavery and exploitation, or any form of slavery and exploitation, is a crime against humanity....what is wrong with child labour? In Finland, children are expected to work on the farms. Isn't that child labour?

Beethoven is a fine example of selfishness, so is Da Vinci and so is every outstanding sportsman. Most people argue that selfishness promotes individualism, which is detrimental to the “betterment of society”. But then, in an effort to “better” society, we see trade barriers imposed rampantly by all countries on every item and labour that could spell doom for local industries.

In an effort to “better” society, we see socialist political parties take on mighty “capitalist” parties and end up succumbing to trade unions.

It’s not as if capitalist parties haven’t succumbed to trade unions, but the option to say “NO” is inbuilt in the ideology. In fact, it’s supposed to take precedence over most other options.

Monday, May 23, 2005

The rain in Spain is mainly plain

Drunken driving is a crime….I’m quite unsure why people drink and drive when they could be better off just drinking.

Coming to alcohol addictions, I admire people who have successfully kicked past addictions. (I've stayed off smoking since Feb this year, and am better for it). They’ve probably extended their life by two years, and significantly enhanced the quality of the life.

Alternatively, one could sue the tobacco and alcohol companies for ending up in this condition and spend the money on Chivas Regal and Havana cigars, in which case you have instantly enhanced the quality of your life.

Which makes me wonder about the choices of "quality" that people make. I'm not particularly interested in a prosaic, metaphysical definition of "quality", that's for long-winded essayists and boring coffee-table conversations. Am only curious about how we see it and act on it.

Let’s imagine for a moment that we’re little aliens flying through space investigating various life-forms on various planets. Little pieces of rock orbiting around bigger pieces of gas. Like senior management.

Let’s imagine that we’ve twisted and turned through a worm-hole and landed up a few thousand miles outside of a blue planet. You observe that one particular set of creatures repeatedly fight each other on issues not related to territory or honour but on the notion that God exists, and God exists in different hues for different sets of creatures.

Now you need to document this; just like 75% of all people in those funny-looking cubicles spend their time doing….documenting. What would you document? That all such creatures fundamentally possess quality, and at a broad level there isn’t much to choose one quality from another? But then, you wouldn’t travel so far just to arrive at generalisms.

You wouldn’t, so you would decide that you must report back home that different forms of quality exists.

So you take out your long telescope and examine again.

Let’s see now, these creatures spend a lot of time together. However, the size and type of structure varies from place to place...maybe if we try to understand how the structure is formed, we might gain an insight into the underlying "quality".

What choices do these creatures make in organizing themselves? Similarity of purposes? The output doesn't suggest that this is true, as people in the same organization seems to be working at cross - purposes.

So then, it must be something different, but yet possess a certain quality of consciousness.

Perhaps social? But social qualities are a little more evolved, because a certain set of creatures lives in terrain that is totally unhospitable. Could they be biological in origin?

Well yes, this creature used to be a hunter-gatherer, and then teamed up with other hunter-gatherers. And then two of these groups went to war with each other. But they didn't stop there, but continued to evolve further forms of intelligence. That would be the next level of quality.

So then, homo econimus came to life. Brilliant lot, this organization. Except that "wealth" has erupted into free time, which these creatures utilize to leave for home to be with a far more pleasant looking creature with longer hair and interesting curves, and two short creatures.

It would now appear that this creature has surpassed all previous qualities and now seems to value something else. They call it spirituality. Some even write about it on a medium called a "Blog". Funny lot!

These creatures seem to have an innate ability to choose values and morals, and attract others to these values and morals. Perhaps that's what keeps them going.

Funny lot, these creatures; worth watching for some time. But then, this universe is lovely, dark and deep, and there are worm-holes to leap....

Yawn…must tell seniors back home….some of these creatures are irrational…they divide 22 by 7.

Am the Gin in the Gin-soaked boy!

No, where?
Now, Here!

Eats, shoots, leaves
Eats shoots, leaves

In Time, Ate
Intimate

Medal, Laila, mA
Me, Dalai Lama

Amon, Alis
Mona Lisa

Mathematical Magic
Metamagical Thema

Leave, I'Tait
Levitate

Al developed Colic and is reduced to a Ho
Alcoholic

Am the Gin in the Gin-soaked boy

Sunday, May 22, 2005

On control

So I’m a liar.

Maybe so, but what’s better? An unconscious liar or a conscious one? Curious, isn’t it, how society pardons an unconscious liar, writing it off as a hangover from genetics? But it's a crime to lie on purpose.

Perhaps that’s why we need a framework for rationalizing; rationalizing is important.

But I’m digressing here; I always find it strange that we forgive events if they happened out of our circle of control. That drives the judgment on one’s degree of morality: if crime happened out of our circle of control, we are eligible for the ticket to heaven. I’m sure the gates will be guarded by a toll-booth, and all the excess baggage that one carries will be weighed and the price will have to be paid. (NB: Hilarious, isn’t it? Jesus’ death was considered a crime by all of humanity, but noone paid the price!)

Personally, I admire a person in full control of his or her faculties and consciously commits a crime, over a person who never had control in the first place. Such people deserve to be studied, rather than paying tax-money into curing the latter category of people.

So I’ve put across my first observation: that control is more admirable than its absence. It’s marvelous when no one is quite sure what you’re in control of, but you’re the Man!

Maybe that’s why we create sages and prophets: gentlemen and gentlewomen who debunk all theories that we are in control. This happens every two centuries or so: the message is spread through love….and six thousand devotees who give you a tax-break for donating to their charitable cause, and invite you every Saturday to attend their prayers, and arrange for community gatherings where the children can play, and the men can discuss the rising steel prices.

The issue of control has never quite been resolved, has it? Governments, religions, monopolies, marriages and failed relationships, the local astrologer……isn’t it a question of control?

Stock markets follow random walks, because at no point of time is one sure of who is in charge! Like a piece of software that everybody uses, but noone is quite sure who made, or who runs, or who benefits! Like office automation.

We’ve come a long way to realize that we never left home.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Part 1 - Good Golly, Miss Molly

She stood there, the pistol smoking with remnants of a recent discharge. The mirror above her dressing-table shone back untidy black curls, smudged lip-stick and eye-liner run away with her tears. The lights above the mirror were bright, and the pistol glinted much the same way as the diamond ring on her left hand.

The pistol fell on the Turkish towel that lay spread out on the bed; the satin covers were badly stained, but they are easily replaceable.

It had been a difficult life alright, one that was filled with virtues and a need for self-preservation and respect for mankind. But there is a limit, you know…to respect, that is.

So the first man she dated was married, and the second one married someone else. So what now? She used to clean floors at the restaurant during college days, and suffered unkind remarks from overly-rich and underly-worked folks from those up-town places. But it was enough to pay the rent while the scholarship took care of the rest.

It’s amazing how far education cannot take you. But then, music and beauty always go hand in hand; in an unkind world, you have to hit back with all you got. If you don’t have anything, sing about it. If you can’t sing well, sing really loud. Then you’re a rock star.

So it was with her. A series of roller-coaster rides and relationships later, she found herself deeply in debt, deeply sought after, and deeply into various addictions. It was a vicious cycle as one fed the other. But one could wake up to see tomorrow.

Let’s see now; the first job didn’t go too badly. Her boss was shifted to another department before the end-of-the-year. That left her with pretty much nobody to explain to her why she was redundant.

The next job didn’t go too badly either; when you’ve been dumped, it’s expected that you will work twice as hard to earn half as much. And you shouldn’t ask for a bonus either. That would be terrible, if you did.

But then, everything clicked and fell into place. Then it got a little hazy.

But now, the lights were dimming and the view from across the balcony of her twentieth-floor flat spanned a series of twinkling lights that were of varying heights in the far distance, but married each other to form a perfect arc that highlighted the haze enveloping the city in a comfortable, choking clasp.

She fell back.

Some minutes later, the police barged into the room; the pretty lady was found lying on bed with a bullet-hole through her left temple.

The satin was a real mess.

Untitled

Anger, you can buy at a cheap discount-store
Pain, it leaves you wanting for more

Butterflies, you can catch and climb the stair-case
Lotus flowers, you can watch and let the glow light your face

BMW, now there’s a car I’d love to own,
The driver, now there’s a guy who hurts my ego

Love, there’s an exchange offer at an electronics store
Ecstasy, my vouchers will get me there, I’m sure

Hatred, now there’s a rap tune that gets my heart pumping
Religion, that’s for others, outsiders…something

Mountains, someone’s climbing them everyday
Sports, my guys have feet of clay

Cynicism, now there’s something I could headbang to
Satchmo, he’s rolling out those blues

Fantasy, my memory plays tricks on me
Reality, now the aces are stacked against me.

Tomorrow, did it ever exist?
Yesterday, when will it come?

Death

Death - a topic that's among my current "Billboard Top-10" list on "Musings":

Sign on a church on PD Mello Road: " To experience easter, one must change; to rise again, one must die"


Julius Caesar: "The coward dies many times before his death, the hero but once" (Actually, I think that's a load of crap)