"Why, what's wrong?"

A lot of people I know –friends and family alike – tend to ask me this question. Some people have observed, “You don’t seem too happy these days. Why don’t you talk about it?”

The truth is, I see no issue in 'talking about it' – I do have my fair share of issues and I’m not too proud to make a mention of them. What I fear most is that I may receive advice, or help, even before I’m through mentioning what ails me. Or I may be told in return,"Grow up. That's hardly what I call a problem."

I spend a lot of time talking about music, philosophy, alcohol and women. I rarely, if ever, talk about what concerns me the most. Perhaps I’m being unreasonable in expecting people to be active, but silent, listeners.

In the Star Trek series, Captain Kirk has a policy – to investigate and learn from other species, but not interfere with them. Often I smile to myself, thinking that it is advice we ought pay heed to.

Are we bad people in offering advice?
No.
Are we somehow unconsciously atoning fears for our karma?
I wonder.
Have we been taught to feel good about helping?
I don’t think we know the limits of being un-helpful and over-helpful.

Therefore, some of my best friends are those who listen to me rant and rave for a couple of hours, and then pour me another drink without offering me advice, unless I ask for it. And they don't pass judgement. I think that is a sign of extreme maturity.

I try and be the same, except somehow fewer people seem to be willing to talk to me about their problems these days! I've been told that I'm too selfish a person to talk to. This always causes me to smile to myself ... luckily, those who matter most to me think otherwise. Those who listen to my rantings also pick up the phone at any time of the day and pour their cup of woes. And I don't respond apart from an occasional, "Carry on. What happened next?"

Someday, I might let people on about what’s ticking in the time-bomb in my head. Until then, I’ll most likely have a drink at the local inn. Or chat up with my two-month old niece. Her most sagacious response is often to pee in my arms and stick her tongue out. I stick my tongue out right back. Noone messes around with me!